Revisiting regret
Reader Jamieson Hawkins sent two questions about the relation between accepting determinism and feeling regret. I’ve discussed that topic here and here, but Jamieson’s questions take the discussion further.
First: “Suppose that determinism and the relevant physics imply that purely retrospective emotions such as regret are irrational. If so, then I assume that anyone committed to being rational ought at least try to stop feeling (purely retrospective) regret. What methods should determinists use to stop feeling such emotions?”
Not being a therapist, I hesitate to offer therapeutic advice. From my perspective as a philosopher, it’s enough if we recognize the false presupposition that typically underlies event-directed regret: the presupposition that those affected would be better-off if the regretted event hadn’t occurred. On the contrary, it’s overwhelmingly likely that those affected wouldn’t have existed if the regretted event hadn’t occurred. In my own case, focusing on that fact helps me resist the mistaken thinking that I earlier labeled “ifonlyness.” I also try to channel feelings of regret into future-directed behavior: if I’ve wronged someone, acknowledge it to the person I’ve wronged; make up for it if I can; and take special care not to repeat the behavior.
Second: “Might even determinists have an obligation to feel regret for past harm they caused in order to be forgiven by those they harmed? If so, does that obligation override the rational obligation not to feel retrospective regret?”
Here again, I’m no expert ‒ in this case, on the topic of forgiveness, which has its own philosophical literature. Still, it seems to me that I can seek someone’s forgiveness if I hope to restore a relationship damaged by my harmful action, take steps to repair the damage, and take care not to repeat the harm, all without falsely imagining that things would now be better if I hadn’t acted as I did.
As a rule, once we recognize that feeling a particular emotion depends on having a false belief, I can’t see how we could be obligated to feel that emotion or justly criticized for failing to feel it.
